B. burgdorferi

by Phillinois

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1.
nothin' I'd like to do more than to make love on the floor with you and cross the seas excessively and sip the present like a tea well it's more like I'd like to like to do these things with you but I'm not taking orders from me for now we'll see once this bacteria's lifeless to whom my life bows
2.
I used to brag about dumb things never broke a bone or got a bee sting no allergies I look back nostalgically at seventeen my lung collapsed they fixed it once and then relapse I owe everythin' to modern medicine and my parents' health insurance but don't believe it you can't believe it there's no point believing it's gonna get much worse, yeah then right before my twenty-first a camping trip took a turn for the worst I got mighty sick from a measly tick I felt ninety by my twenty-fifth but don't believe it you can't believe it there's no point believing it's gonna get much worse, yeah we'll live forever we'll love forever everyone might suffer but baby, we'll find a way out denial got me into this denial will get me out denial got me into this denial can get me out I cried wolf just a little late I'm assuming that it's slain denial get me into this I'll play denial's little game but don't believe it you can't believe it there's no point believing it's gonna get much worse we'll live forever we'll make love forever everyone might suffer but baby, we'll find a way out I don't believe it no, I can't believe it there's no point believing it's gonna get much worse, yeah
3.
I read what I could of Mr. Nietzsche I read what I could of Dr. Hume afraid I might have it too easy lookin' for something to prove I paraded around Machu Picchu I paraded around like a fool I paraded around Franz Joseph just lookin' for some kind of tune but then in a blink it all falls on your plate and you think life gave you somethin' to sing about life gave you songs to sing isn't that what you wanted but now you can't sing a darn thing it's like getting a gift of a hairbrush after selling my hair for your gift but replace the brush for inspiration and the hair for a pile of dog shit oh in a blink it all falls on your plate and you think life gave you somethin' to sing about life gave you songs to sing isn't that what you wanted but now you can't sing a darn thing I'm too tired and I'm too tight and I'm too swept with emotion life gave you somethin' to sing about life gave you songs to sing isn't that all that you wanted but now you can't sing a darn thing
4.
fibers in teeth bloated post-meat belly, oh me I should put myself in shoes of the ewe or at least for the sake of the environment I mean what've I been doing for the betterment but there's not much else I can even eat these days but maybe I could think of something if I wasn't in such a daze but now's not the time, not the time now's not the time, not the time now's not the time, not the time to check my morals to check my morals mmm I hate these gas guzzlin' war machines and the lazy Indiana mentality I'd like to ride my bike everywhere but I'm sitting here in traffic with a blank stare but I can hardly even stand these days I get by telling myself it's just a phase but now's not the time, not the time now's not the time, not the time now's not the time, not the time to check my morals to check my morals mmm does the soul transcend disease does this troll get sympathy
5.
00:44
"don't take life so seriously" was the mantra to be written on my grave until I started taking death a bit more seriously and I seriously didn't like who I became but I remained alive and that's all that mattered at the time but now it's time to sort through my design
6.
what'll it be like when the pain subsides and I can do anything with a joyful cry work a dead-end job in a depressed town but my gratitude won't permit no frown sing the drip drip drip of the coffee maker give thanks to the ghostly water vapor and the sip sip sip of the present tense but presently I know I'm on the fence about this to live, to breathe, to walk, to be it's perfect for a moment or so then my eyes set on the next goal throw a fit fit fit oh the human condition conditioned me to always be fishing like an overflowing icebox can't stop a mission when the mission's less a vision and more like a wishing for the biggest, the best, most succulent catch dripping with jealousy of all of my enemies I can't just soak in the aimlessness of this quiet and beautiful painlessness, no to live, to breathe, to walk, to be it's perfect for a moment or so then my eyes set on the next goal it's not the moral I would have chosen but I saw it coming from miles away
7.
feel the fingers of anguish caress body find shelter in the arms of melancholy been waitin' in the brush pile for a while now joke's on me, it was a holiday weekend I owe my life to a chain of false hope a few more, more links and I might reach the moat but what a waste to give a face to a gator what a waste to be a hater count the ways I love you later feel the crossbow of courage stab the back pull the reins of a sluggish, sleepy lion been feelin' a little different since I lost my knack my mojo rolled out of that backpack I owe my life to my money and connections the unnatural selection that fights my infection what a waste to give a face to a gator it might pay to be a hater but I'll look into that later see the light at the end of the tunnel get shocked by the slide, it's jealous of life and I'm jealous of the living who live without strife when before all I wanted was to earn some stripes, yeah but what a waste to give a face to a gator what a waste to be a hater what a waste to be a hater what a waste to be a hater what a waste to be a hater what a waste to be a hater count the ways I love you later it might pay to be a hater it might pay to be a hater it might pay to be a hater count the ways I love you later it might pay to be a hater it might pay to be a hater it might pay to be a hater count the ways I love you later
8.
03:48
love
9.
02:23
my dog’s looking up at me like she used to I’m not sure she’s noticed a change and I’m not sure, I’m not sure which I’d prefer but she’s looking up at me like she always has marionette, you drive that corvette so well I’m drowning in sweat pull over, pull over, pullover marionette, you done well, kid people still hire me like they used to and cashiers greet me the same too maybe I shouldn’t, maybe I should think it so strange what’s it to me if I don’t count the change marionette, you drive that corvette so well I’m drowning in sweat pull over, pull over, pullover marionette, you done well, kid
10.
soft light people tasteless unreal in the morning I wake up I should make that call it's been too long soft light people tasteless unreal days pass by words pass through line and I get that grade that grade (soft light) I step into (people) who seems to be (tasteless) food pass through me (unreal) again I leak relatives, books, music, and shows friends and media tell me I'm not alone it's all I want
11.
03:30
money, it keeps me alive money, it eats me from the inside it's funny how I couldn't decide if I should keep it all by my side and just die but oh, how stupid I'd've died (here we go again) you can't put a price on life (so then what's the use) but if you had to, what would it be (what a classic nine) 'cause when these pills are bringing me strife (the cosmos' abuse) I think is there possibly something more (well there's nothing more) just a little more useful(oh there's nothing more useful) than to spend it all on me invisible diseases are the hardest to beat oh brother if we get the two together, maybe they'll beat each other we'll see it'd be a long shot, but we'll see (here we go again) the wind on my face is real (then raise the sail) the roaring river, tangible (and float away) but money, still the greatest of feels (tripping on the roots) weighs me down like a bowling ball in an ocean (on your way to the ocean) drown these little spirochetes before you do me in invisible diseases are the hardest to beat if we get the two together, maybe they'll beat each other we'll see it'd be a long shot, but we'll see it'd be amazing, but we'll see money, it keeps me alive oh, money, it eats me from the inside

about

In 2012 I contracted Lyme disease. By 2014 I was in sorry shape and, among many things, could no longer play guitar. A year later and six months into recovery my wrists were well enough to play a bit on the synth, so I bought a 1987 Casio synthesizer off Craigslist. This album was written in six weeks as a result of some mega pent up creative energy.

credits

released November 27, 2015

All songs written, recorded, mixed and mastered by me, Phil Gerigscott, at my house in Goshen, Indiana. Guest vocals by my wife, Emma Gerigscott.

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